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The Raven




04/14/2018 07:35 pdt

Status quo since last week. The fifth domain we have secured may not come to fruition due to concerns over how it relates so closely to Las Vegas. To move everything we have created here toward a locale which necessitates truncation to only the travel entries may not be a good idea. The ownership is there, however, and that will not change this calendar year. More research will hopefully lend to the right decision.

DP has been removed from the production environment and will not return. Due to the ongoing issues in taking that section live, the decision came down the hill and the project has ceased.


hexagram




Furnace Creek and the Forbidden Word

Part Six


"'I thought you were disillusioned with physicality.'
'Shut up. You're mine, babe. And I am yours.' Yes ma'am.

Oh my god, Juliette was like an animal that had been caged for years. She came at me with all of herself and nothing was left out. To the bed, and to the fucking stars we went. Her skin was like velvet in my hands. Her hair was in my mouth over and over, its sweet scent surrounding me like a cloud from heaven. She was so warm... my mind flew through cycles of desire and need, followed by interruptions when she moved me about the room. To the tub, and on the tile under the big, slanted windows. To the sofa, and to the bed. I could smell her all over my skin and could not get enough. The universe was reduced to the size of that room with Juliette and her incredible softness at its center. Fucking hell, she was wonderful.

Eyes, lips, hands, fingers, labia, arms, legs, breasts... all of her all over all of me. And all of my mind lost in the sexual desire and her endless curves. I found myself drooling all over her ass and legs as she moaned and writhed everywhere. Her eyes were half-shut and looking at me as I had never seen. She literally threw me on the bed and jumped in front of me to her hands and knees and bounced until I thought the headboard would snap in two. Hair flying about, my hands clasped to her waist... holy Christ. She then turned and took me with her lips until I could not stand it anymore. Satiated, exhausted, swirling, and the smell of her covering my skin... and then she grabbed at the phone with all haste. 'Room service, babe. Put something on.' Um, okay. Whatever she may have wished was anything I would have done. She wanted to make me happy, and in the end we were both overflowing with the same. I dressed without a shirt, and she donned that goddamned lavender which began the night along with the thick Luxor robe. We snuggled on the sofa until a knock at the door. Nice. Appetizers and wine. Yes. Juliette continued to stare at me no matter where her focus may have been. She signed and tipped the attendant and then returned to my arms. I could not imagine where we may have gone from there, but I no longer cared about the world outside that room. Everything was Juliette, her unending beauty, and the fucking stratosphere from where I continued to descend. Jesus.

'Hungry?'
'Yes.'
Food and drink.

That late-night snack allowed us to relax somewhat and cool off. Again we shared some conversation and I felt as if all of the worry and hesitation regarding life outside that town had quieted. Juliette seemed at peace during that night, too. Everything she felt came through those dark eyes right away, and what I was seeing helped me to believe that she was happy and content. The caressing continued just as it had all day long everywhere we went. I loved it. She was so gentle and caring that I thought my heart could take no more. I ate a little, had a glass of wine, stared at her beautiful eyes, and began to feel like sleep would help.

'Tired?'
'Yes, but I do not want this to stop right now.'
'A little while longer, then?'
'Please, my dear. Just let me look at you.'

Gawd. Again I sat there gazing at Juliette and thanking my lucky fucking stars for every second. A dream. She was a fucking dream. There were unknowns all over the place, a lack of direction, and so much ambiguity, but at that moment her loving manner, physical desire, and emotional eyes held all the cards. I could not move my mind in any other direction than what had taken place since walking into the bank. The escort was booked, dinner plans were in mind, and my only other path was to drink aplenty and try to find solace. After meeting Juliette, however, the solace was solely her company. Damn the world, I had to remain right next to her for as long as possible.

A little while later and we took to the bed. Nude, warm, and sleep. And I did not even begin to think of dreaming because it was all right next to me. In the morning we arose and showered together. A lack of words combined with tons of smiles and caressing were understood and enjoyed. Juliette had enlarged my world by a factor of ten, and each time we met eyes that world grew even more. The shower was almost as hot as the room during the previous night. I thought my mind would implode from the joy and gratification. And when she dressed... holy mother of Christ. To the inclinator and attraction level for coffee.



003

That void below her breasts



'Let's go and eat some rattlesnake empanadas, my dear.' Huh? What the fuck did she have in mind? 'Death Valley, babe. Pack your shit.' Ok.

We left the warmth of the coffee bar, back to the big room, and then took to the highway. Furnace Creek was not a long drive from the southern strip, and along the way Juliette decided to tell me of her trouble -- much of which I was ill-prepared to hear. I nearly had to pull the car over more than once and cry, and the sadness was building inside me. Her life outside us and the bank had been extremely difficult throughout the past year. My dinner invitation gave her the push to shut everything off and run away for a while. She told me of emotional abuse, her family members turning their backs on the situation, and her need for escape from everything. The idea to move away from Vegas came up many times, which would have led her to extended family in another state. Juliette also stated that if I had not come along with my attentive nature and caring, within one month or less she would have been gone from Vegas for good. Jesus. Again... pure luck and timing. The thought of her difficult year pulled at my heart and I felt an overwhelming need to help with any of it.

Arriving at the resort brought us to an understanding that until such time as things needed to be detailed and/or changed, we should carry on with our enjoyment. Juliette was very intelligent and understanding. The time we forced brought a calm that we both needed. When she exited the car and walked to the edge of the parking lot to gaze out over the valley, I was telling myself just how very dangerous falling for her could be, and that despite my desire to be attached to her beautiful heart forever. I looked at her standing there, all leather boots, tight jeans, thigh gap from heaven, and that hair all over the place, and the love was beginning to make an appearance. The woman lifted me from the jaws of death and carried my heart up and out of the uphill battle which I had been climbing for so long. And the heartache began...

She returned and pulled her bag from the seat. We checked in and dropped our things, and then headed for the lobby bar and the appetizers she had desired. The place was very nice for being in the middle of such desolation, but that aspect also brought a unique beauty into my eyes. The valley was laid out in front of us as we sat and enjoyed cocktails and snacks. I addressed her with all seriousness.

'Do me a favor?'
'Anything.'
'Don't let me fall in love with you, ok? It could destroy me.'

She dropped her face and began to cry. I sat and held her for several moments before she composed herself enough to return to the afternoon's comfort at that bar. I could see that her smile was forced and her eyes were the opposite. For the remainder of that little visit, no words were spoken by either of us. The food came and went, cocktails sipped down, but nothing else. She began to sniffle a bit so we closed out and took to the main entrance for a stroll. Along that parking lot to the edge, and then around the perimeter, and still no words. I tried to pry my eyes from hers over and over to avoid causing her to cry. I felt tense and worried due to the silence, yet still being next to her and the grip on my hand helped to ease both. We headed back toward the entrance and she stopped suddenly and grabbed my face with both hands... tearily...

'I am already there.' Damn it anyway.
'Keep me, please, my love. Keep me.' Fuck.

We walked some more and stared out at the landscape while trying to digest the word in question. At times the blood flow to my hand was stifled by her grip, and every time she squeezed I stopped her and held on tight. I wanted the planet to cease its rotation and stay in the same sunset-laden position until the end of all things. I knew very well of that bliss and its effect on the clock. We had to realize every minute of every day and love it unconditionally -- along with each other. Juliette and I had become bigger than both of us. Much bigger.



078

Every inch of her in my mouth, over and over



To the room with all haste.

The day had gone in a direction we likely could not have avoided. It had to happen at some point considering the emotional and needy nature we shared. Codependence, denial, everything. Fuck it. I told Juliette that I was so happy being with her that I wanted nothing more than for it to continue. She agreed and kissed me like the world was about to blow up. That caused me to wish the bad things away, begin to ignore the negative possibilities, and rip her fucking blouse off as if it had caught fire. And then we caught fire once again. All over the room, the floor, the shower, the fucking dinette chairs. Everything. We were in heat. Juliette felt like a wild animal and took me over as no one else. Gawd damn sonuvabitch, her body was my new universe.



"I remember the King
And his Queen I shall never forget
No finer woman ever lay before me
Dark... and filled with beauty
All it took was one lonely kiss
Her lips, swollen and red
Smothered all over me
I felt faint and without control
And with great thirst, I drank deeply"


The resort's location afforded us the opportunity to look around the landscape for a time, and then take in the beautiful sunset along with a sumptuous dinner. We kept the demons to the rear the entire time, too. Our new world needed to continue without interruption or disruption so we enjoyed all of it -- from the food to the booze to the sex to the intimacy. Our visit to the valley was a great idea from her lovely mind. I was still fighting with myself over the whole shitaree, though. No matter what we did or where we explored, the darkness was right behind me like a fucking shadow from hell. I pushed, and it pushed back. From that point forward, I thought, the best direction had to be acceptance and moving along as we desired. I expressed my dismay to Juliette and she held me tightly and whispered her love and desire into my waiting ears. Once I heard those words, my heart warmed and I knew we would be alright together. The damage path could have been avoided, yet at the same time it needed to be acknowledged and accepted. We did just that, and then carried on with the bliss.

The first morning at the resort found us nude and warm again. The idea of sleeping with anything on was avoided from then on. Juliette's skin was my set of sheets, and her neck was my pillow over and over. We moved to the restaurant for a light breakfast and then hit the road to see some history. North to Scotty's Castle for a tour, then south through the Devil's Golf Course and into the pit of Badwater. The driving around was comfortable. We were constantly in physical contact with each other and at each stop she was a part of me, unwilling to let go. I loved all of the affection. It only increased with every moment. Upon reaching the basin, Juliette asked that we spend one more night and then return to the lights of the promised land. She wished for the trip to continue in the city rather than moving around any longer. The rest of the day was mellow, and later became very hot. Dinner, drinks, and her coming at me like a lioness in search of a litter.

'I love you.'
Sigh, deep breath... 'I love you too, my dear.'
'Show me.'

And that was the last of any gap which could have been measured between our hearts. Whatever, wherever, and for lack of reason, we fell in all the way. Together. Loving, gazing, and satisfied. One.



116

Elegant beauty, to the last



Back to the Luxor, and that beautifully comfortable spa room. We entered as if we had lived there, and Juliette stripped down to nothing. She stood there staring at me and my eyesight received the image of dreams. Feet together, hands clasped behind her back, and those breasts looking out at me like searchlights. We showered and readied ourselves to go downstairs for relaxation and cocktails. She dressed herself in a similar fashion as the previous days, and looked like dessert in jeans. All I needed was a drink and a fucking pallet of whipped cream. Heh. I took her hand as we exited and she kissed my neck several times while walking. For fuck's sake, I was a split-second away from lifting her off her feet and carrying that beauty back to the goddamned bed. Nope. The inclinator arrived and we rode sideways. Her lips did not leave my neck until the doors opened twenty-nine floors later. The others within the car seemed a tad unnerved at standing so close to her very dramatic display of affection, but I did not care. I smiled and lapped it up like cold cream to a cat's tongue. She was wonderful and kept me up so high that I could not see down.

The Nile, again.

Juliette asked about having dinner at the House of Blues, and joked that maybe another call girl would find me. Holy shit that was funny, and watching her laugh left me stunned. Gorgeous, in every way. Her giggling left me wanting more. She was so cute and playful in every way. I told her that I only knew one call girl and was hoping not to see that one again during the trip. Juliette simply laughed and pointed us toward the House. As we slowly cruised across the big bridge, she noticed the Burger Bar to the right and steered me there. 'Maybe a martini?' I figured that restaurant pushed the bar aspect for good reason, so following along could do no harm. The idea of wandering in there would soon amplify our togetherness ten-fold.

We were drawn in by the lovely hostess and seated in the typical manner -- Juliette next to me, perched with legs crossed and heels hanging, and with my fingers fondling hers. I knew it well and there was never enough. Sitting, speaking of all subjects, and having a nice meal was very enjoyable. The more Juliette spoke, the more I found myself lost in her thoughts and bright eyes. A few times I lost track of the words and dreamed about our time in the resort. We had been there long enough to realize that we were hurting ourselves as much as finding happiness. Two personalities so similar and in need of the right type of company, combined with the pull of intimate sexual desire had us shoving all other parts of life aside. That was not healthy, however the denial began to dictate our moves. On and off she kissed me and expressed such affection that it eventually became more intoxicating than the martinis. The smell and softness of Juliette's long hair, those thin, smooth fingers, and my hands gripping her waist combined to push me toward telling her more of my loving feelings. That was a tough road, however. Fearing the fallout, I reigned in my heart and kept the tongue at bay. To the reverse... 'My dear, this is everything I had hoped.' Oh my, avoiding the words manufactured in my heart was becoming an exercise in patient restraint. I wanted to open the flood gates and roll down the falls. I needed it. Her eyes were so warm and wonderful. And the increasing worry was still far enough back to allow us to take care of each other as well as ourselves and maintain that comfortable space. We sat a little while longer before stepping back out and into the mass of people. The bridge brought us back toward the Egyptian palace before stopping to work out a plan. After the meal, I was feeling heavy and simply wished to relax a while before going anywhere else. I was still considering the exchange in Death Valley, too. All the while trying to keep the events and emotions organized. I wanted badly to know of Juliette's stance regarding where we were and why, but the last thing on the menu was to pry. Delusion, of course.

We headed toward the north end of the club, and into Aurora, taking a seat on the edge of the lounge and remaining away from others as much as possible. She sat with her knees together and perched like a bird. I plopped down into the chair and could not take my eyes off her legs. She smiled in that approving manner and blew me a kiss. 'Are we going upstairs soon, my dear?' Hmm... again I felt the past creeping in as her words pushed my mind toward yanking her jeans off. I tried to keep it in the background. That was difficult due to the number of days we had spent together already. More gazing at her thighs, thinking about what to do or which direction might be best. Juliette leaned back and made it clear that we could stay, go, whatever. She told me that to be there looking at me was wonderful despite the ramifications we tried so hard to avoid. More of my eyes all over her, and more thoughts from the depths of desire. What to do? Fucking dive.

'Let's go. I need to lie down and hold you.' Yes, please.



190

Her movements and curves were dreamy



Arriving at the room meant we were alone again with all of the possibilities floating about the space. Juliette removed everything save for her thong and crawled under the covers. The light from those big windows was dimming. I joined her and held on for dear life. Much time passed as we lay there and spoke softly about where we might have been going. Life was on indefinite hold (something I knew very well and excelled at making happen), and both were fighting to leave it be. From out of nowhere, the dreamy weekend with Jasmine began to pull me into the past, along with the terrible manner in which that period ended. The current trip plan was to be with that beautiful woman again for some days, and Juliette submarined that by accepting my dinner invitation. The turn was such that my good fortune brought me into her arms despite my desire to be with the exotic call girl. Her arrival at my door changed everything, and though the two of us were having a blissful time, I needed to move ahead and learn of her considerations. One simple question led her to cry for some time and I felt terrible for derailing our heavenly stay.

When she calmed the sobbing, her hands found mine and she dove into the recent trials which we had discussed on the ride to the Inn. I felt for her, deeply, but also there was a gap which left me powerless. Juliette and I were on a fling of sorts, which meant that despite her feelings toward me, there was little I could do to assist with her issues. The relocation seemed imminent, if delayed. She informed me that on and off for two days she had considered the decision to move out of Vegas, and in the end it was going to happen whenever we ceased our adventures. Jesus fucking crap, I knew at some point that would rear its head again but continued to wish it away like a frightened child. My mind went through all permeations of the trip and her involvement with me. I felt that the best thing for her was my support. So I held on and told her without any doubt that I would assist her with anything possible. She squeezed my hands, thanking me, and drifted off. I stayed there up against her and dealt with my own options. At some point Juliette was going to walk away from me and get back to her life, and that was not something I felt would be healthy for my ongoing diminished abilities in dealing with difficulty. Regardless, it would happen, and likely leave me distraught. And then I would be flying home and working out everything which was pushed aside. Those issues had been sidestepped for a reason. An enormous reason, and one which drove me to continue the illusion. It was very familiar. I knew of the blowback and all repercussions which doubtless would come calling in that overbearing voice, but ignored it due to my lack of reasonable thought. Sounds familiar. Juliette had brought to me a calming state, leaving any negative possibilities ignored.

Darkness outside, and then movement next to me. Juliette awakened and slid herself against me, kissing my neck. Oh boy. Her kissing sent everything out of my head immediately as she smooched her way south and took me away from all of the bad. More... and then her thong went across the room, she spun her ass to my lips and dove further. Pause. 'I love you.' God help me, she was in that extreme heat again. Moments later she spun again and climbed atop, riding for the stars. She dropped her breasts to my mouth and moaned like never before. Jesus, there were slight tears in her eyes despite the smile. My only thought was to please her and keep everything in my head from taking over. Eventually I lost myself as she went to town like I was her personal pony. Flip, nails digging across my ass, and pulling. The woman allowed me no motion without her command. Around again, with her mouth like a dripping vice upon me. I dove in again while feeling her bucking against my lips as if she was trying to crush my very head. More... and then that was that. The movement ceased, and she fell to me, crying hard. Fuck shit damn. I felt the end was near and my bliss flew away like startled birds at the crack of a gunshot. 'I just fucking love you to no end, and I don't understand anything right now. Hold me, babe, please.' Of course.

The night went forward with little conversation. Just caressing, kissing lightly, and tears on and off for more than an hour. The fright of her departure slammed itself back to the forefront, and in time my tears matched hers. 'I love you too, my dear.' Holding tight, we slept, all dewy and depressed.



191

I could have lived a lifetime within her flowing hair



I was awakened by light from the rising sun. Juliette slept next to me and I lay there listening to her soft breathing. All at once I wanted to swallow her but pushed away the sex as best I could. She looked so peaceful and I had no wish to disturb her slumber. Considering all of the parts of life which we were sidestepping, both needed rest regardless of any other activities. The early morning was very quiet so high in the pyramid, and the colorful sky brought me a bit of peace. Juliette did not stir at all, however at no time did I feel alone in any way. Her heart was chemically bonded to mine which helped me to look at her without worry. I began to consolidate myself with her impending departure. Such a troubling thought felt tempered by our understanding of each other, and that allowed me to stay calm despite the loss I was about to endure. The heated previous night felt as a cap screwed tightly to the bottle which had been filled to the top with our time together. Nothing seemed to cool us, and the tears during sex were emotionally crippling. Here and there within my head were snippets and memories of leaving the Mandalay Bay a year earlier, mixed with the dire pain of working my way back into everyday life. And during that year the yearning never ceased, eventually causing me to run away and seek a place beyond need. Juliette became that very place. A loving, caring place, closed off from the world, and one allowing us to find a happiness greater than any expectation. I loved her -- a situation that never arose, even with a highly-paid escort.

When Juliette awakened, I could see the end of us being expressed through her soulful windows. No words for a time, nothing other than glances and pits of despair. She took my hand and led me to the shower, where we spent so many moments all over each other for days. The cold tile soon steamed and ran with condensation in the hot water. We caressed each other lightly on and off during that last togetherness. Sexual looks and words were gone, replaced by sadness and quiet. Just the water. And then she spoke to me with my face in her hands... 'Understand something, babe... I am different now because of you and all this time we shared. I am better. I am positive. I know that everything which happened before was reasoned. It led me to you, and to the rest of my life which is now hopeful and with the possibility of real.' God damn fuck me again. She floored me, and not just in a sad way. The woman stood there, teary, trembling, yet looking more beautiful than ever. She stared at me with those deep, dark eyes and meant every fucking syllable. I dropped my head into my hands and prayed that we were not ending, and I would wake up next to her again with the possibility of a different outcome. Such was not the case, not even close. Crying, yearning, shaking. No. Just no.

Crying and kissing. Crying over and over. Out of the shower, packed, and one little turn with wet eyes... 'I love you. Please don't forget me, babe.' To the door, and slam. Crushed like never in my life. It had to happen.



214

Anything either of us wanted... all of it



Jesus fucking Christ, she walked out of the room and I felt as if the galaxy was on my shoulders and weighing me down enough to force a fall. Juliette and her beautiful soul... not to return. And my trip was about to end, one way or another. To the window, and out of my mind. Again. I had to be honest with myself and realize that Juliette needed what we shared, inside more important than the outside. Yes, I was better for knowing her and enjoying our days in the clouds, yet still the pain and depression washed me like rain on the streets. Down and down and just fucking down. Her scent was still lingering all over the room and bed. Her eyes in my heart. And her never-ending affection still tingling my skin. Cold. Sharp. Pain. Gone. God damn the world, again. A woman unlike any other. Loving, caring, beautiful, and so very damaged inside. I just wanted to make her happy, and did for a time. That much, at least, brought some peace to my thoughts and broken heart. Fuck me.

I slowly moved about the room, in dramatic need to get the fuck out of the Luxor and run from the memories. Impossible? Of course, but my life would not allow any possibility other than attempting to leave it behind while drowning in alcohol. Juliette was better for staying with me. I had to keep that close, and at a time when I could have rammed the fucking window until bleeding to death. I just had to keep it, and try easing the pain -- however that could be accomplished.

Shades of two thousand two and that flight home, but amplified to the nth degree. The understanding that Jasmine was purchased and held to me by nothing more than money made saying goodbye to her, while at the time seemingly difficult, minimal when compared to loving someone and then watching her carry on with life after joining hearts. Fucking hellish. Just hell in a fiery pit. All that remained was what I had prior to those loving eyes... daily life. Just all bad. And how many fucking times have I typed that word? I stood there for several minutes, gained some sort of control, and decided to call the desk and extend my stay at the Luxor for a few more days. Yep... holding fast to the flame. Fuck it.

To the Magic Kingdom we go."



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Random Quote:

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day,
in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
-- Stephen Vincent Benét


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