08-22-2020 06:56 pdt

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"'We are ever closer to the edge. There is no definition, however. It is floating, undefined, unclear, as if God himself built the largest infinity pool imaginable. We know it is there, though. It has always been there, although searching is not always the best idea. Such an idea often becomes overpowering and we cannot concentrate upon the simplest of tasks. Today may be one of those examples as the weather has cooled and the ideas float. We float in null space. There is a saving throw, too. It is out there, somewhere, and we must try to locate it. The turn of yesterday has altered our path and allowed a sliver of bright clarity to shine through the din. The turn, the drop, and the black are unrelated. Remember those? They were the minuscule beginning of a much larger arc, and they have gone into the past, just as all the others. The new will take over.'

Lots of trouble this morning. All sorts, as it were. Everything which has spun me into a froth is now more cohesive and beginning to weigh me down like never before. Once again, I am sullen and gray, like the sky outside. It is good, I am bad.



878

Never again



Drifting ever further toward a place I can barely scratch to keep myself out. I don't want to fall back into the pit of eleven, but I see no other destination. The dark fall is awaiting.

Nothing can change anymore, be it internal or caused by outside influence. Nothing can change. Those arms will never appear and I will continue to wait as if there is reason. Turn the clock back, create the machine, bring Michelle to me, any of it... Do you see? Like the watch, none of it can happen.

My day must begin as I pass this end."



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