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10-15-2018 06:44 pdt

We have migrated away from NS and into GoDaddy in hopes of a smoother interface with regard to publishing and backup. The site has become enormous as opposed to years ago, leaving us to seek more security and better options for maintaining content fluidity. So far, the new data center has proven flawless. Excellent.

The site SSL through our previous provider was never completed due to such a convoluted validation process. Now, however -- and thanks completely to GoDaddy's unreal client support -- the certificate is signed and in place. Also excellent. We are slowly going to unlock and transfer the other five domains. Two of them may not be renewed beyond the end of this year as they had been directly related to Dimensional Passion. That effort was futile and short-lived anyway.


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Drunken Junkie

Part Thirteen


"The terminal was busy, as always for that huge vacation destination. We stayed close awaiting first-class boarding and were fairly quiet. Andrea seemed to be reminiscing about us walking through the jetway in Pensacola and her firm request that we meet soon after. I formulated that plan immediately and felt free, as if there were no limits. That parting was worrisome because we did not know what was to come of us. Sitting at the gate again meant we were that much closer to separating and moving in directions neither wanted. The need to be together was strong during those early moments. There was a dire urgency to her words. The present felt calmer, if nerve wracking. At least we were heading for the goblet and the comfort which always allowed us to relax. Much thinking was on tap.

The jetway. I purposely fell behind the angelic gazelle to watch her ass move and stare at the gap of dreams. Her jeans fit so well; tight yet with enough give to lend to the thong underneath. The center seam went through motions and appeared as if there was nothing between the denim and her skin. The material was tapered and suited to Andrea's legs all the way down to the ankles, leaving a bit of skin above the straps on her shoes. Each step was slightly inward -- not as dramatic as a runway walk -- yet pushing her upper thighs to tighten slightly and exaggerate the distortion of her ass to each side. She was a wonderland, dreamy and unreal, which I had explored over and over both through my deviant need and her loving requests. Andrea appreciated my desire to simply look at her body in ways others thought odd. The jetway walk reminded me of seeing that form moving up the aircraft aisle toward the restroom. I stared on that Florida-bound flight for the first time, unknowing of what was on the inside. Throughout the days and nights following my initial dream of diving into her pants, we became much more than I had imagined possible, and the love pushed the sex away more often than I felt it could. All the way to the aircraft door I followed and watched the motion, and then Andrea stopped short to let me walk right into her ass. I threw my arms around her and we stepped to row one and dropped our shit. She planted a kiss, sat, and ordered cocktails. Andrea raised the armrest and leaned over with a smile. Jesus God she looked so lovely... hair all over the place and smelling like apple and cucumber. Moments before we taxied, I already wanted to throw her into the restroom and rip her beautiful clothing off. Naturally I told her as much, which led to those eyebrows up and wandering hands. Fuck me, the big seats can only hide so much. I turned the heat down, deciding to change the subject to our destination. Andrea cooled and backed off, making it clear that the room in Vegas would get lots of attention.

Taxi. Takeoff. We flew.

'You saved me.'
'We saved each other.'



459

Into the black



Just like flying to McCarran days earlier, we made the plane our home for those hours. Snacks, cocktails, eyes, hearts. We talked of things to do before walking away from the loving adventure. The usual... strolling and relaxing. And then a little way into the flight, Andrea whispered that we needed to go to the restroom. Yep... she had been serious about the statement in that cab ride. Fuck me running, the woman took my hand and led me toward the rear first-class restroom. She turned to an attendant and politely asked if we could visit the small facility together. The response? A smile and a quiet 'I see nothing'. Oh boy, inside she went to work immediately, smiling and glancing up at my goofy eyes looking at her as if she was the sexiest Satan ever. Pants down, fingers, lips, tongue, holy fucking crap. As the plane went through motions every now and then, Andrea's movements were exaggerated which heightened my excitement. She took her hands away to unbutton that black silk and reveal a beautiful top view of her warm breasts and nipples looking as if they could pierce the material. I slid my hands all over those and received more whimpering from her. Soon I was at the edge with her moaning in response. As I flowed into her warm mouth -- hardly able to stay upright -- she stared into my eyes as if she was the one being pleased. The intensity was almost too much for me to take and I felt compelled to pull her away, but stayed the course. Her lips and tongue remained all over me for moments afterward, eyes finally closed. Andrea pulled herself away slowly, grinned at me, and buttoned her blouse.

'You like?'
'Oh my God, sweetheart.'

We returned to the seats, and thankfully it was a short walk. After getting comfortable, she whispered into my ear that the act in the airplane restroom had been on her mind since our first flight. The fuck? Really? She revealed that my drunkeness was the only thing keeping her from pulling me into the bathroom on that plane. I told her of my surprise, and in response received those big puppy eyes and the statement that it was something about which she felt strongly when it came to me. Considering how many times she lovingly wrapped her warm mouth around me, I was taken aback.

'I love swallowing you... part of your body inside me. It's chemistry.'
'Jesus fuck, Andrea.'
'Expect more, because I want more.'
'Yes, dear'.
'Did I cause you pain?'
'A little, but it's so worth it.'

Upon touching down, I could barely contain the need to stuff my face into Andrea's warm thong. After the tremendous oral gratification during the flight, I had been dreaming and trying to get my eyes as far down her blouse as possible, the culmination of which caused me confusion in the terminal. All we needed to accomplish was a taxi ride to the strip, but my head could not compute anything not involving lace and skin. I was going nuts. As we walked, I glanced over to see her chest bouncing with each step, along with a huge smile and enflamed eyes. We had to get the fuck away from the public eye soon, lest a citation for indecent exposure would be incoming. Heh. Out to the taxi stand with our backpacks and clasped hands. Andrea looked like a million bucks (as usual) and my mind was all the way down her slender pants. Shit. We needed a fucking ride... bad. Cab arrival, seated, rolling. The Venetian was fifteen minutes of a very trying wait. Her thigh gap was screaming at my eyes, while her hand slid up and down my leg. Blood pressure and desire, period.

'We still have to check in, my dearest.'
'No worries, love.'

Standing at the registration desk injected the memory of our arrival from Pensacola, along with Andrea's heels on the marble floor. I loved that sound. This time, however, the underlying fear was looming and attempting to pry me away from the impending sexcapades. The fear was close, dark, and unrelenting. The angel wrapped tightly around me showed none of it -- just a big smile and huge love-filled eyes. She gazed at me like I was dessert which helped to keep the darkness at bay. We checked in and made a beeline for the elevator.

The spa room invited us with its huge window and glowing appointments -- made better considering the woman to whom I was glued. Andrea dumped her bag on the floor, peeled off her jacket, pushing those breasts out and up into my brain, effectively melting me into a smoldering puddle of molten lust. We embraced and kissed like the world was ending, after which she relieved me of my clothing and threw me to the bed. The universe flew away as we took each other from sense once again. Wonderful, warm, loving... the drug I so badly needed. Jesus fuck, she was something else. Like my personal plaything, and then some. And the pain? It never ceased.



448

Gorgeous



Andrea unpacked and spread her things across the bed, looking disappointed. I told her how beautiful she looked at every single moment, but still she wanted something new. We had both packed light due to fleeing in somewhat of a hurry, which meant hotel laundry and rehashing outfits day after day. She wished to shop and I answered yes to anything. There was no other way. I asked for a shower and was pulled decidedly into the bath, along with the expression of heavenly bliss as only she could display. Afterward I gently pressed her for the green undies which led to a yes and a smile. Andrea donned my wishes and I lost my fucking mind as was the way. Good God, her soft, lotioned skin clad in contrasting color was an image I had never thought possible right in front of my very eyes. And she adored my appreciation, telling me that my wide-eyed glaring was ok because it was me. She knew where my heart lived, so outside that anything was fine. She turned and let me stare at her multiple radii and their unbelievable lines, allowed me to drink in the sight of that bow-tied thong, and then dressed to the nines for some shopping. We finished spiffing and left for the big mall.

The Fashion Show was fairly busy. Andrea looked around and found what she felt would be appropriate for a few nice restaurants, so we headed back to the tower to get drinks and relax. Double Helix for a bit, then on to First for the view and quiet. While sitting in the corner, we talked softly about what it meant to be back there after the whirlwind of Disney, and our escapades all over those parks. We laughed about the squareheads at Fulton's, all of our little run-ins with young guys marveling at Andrea's form, and the multiple times we tried to get each other out of all clothing while awaiting the rides. Of course, each attraction was merely an analogy for our own mutual intoxication. We had been blind to outside influence and issues, leaving nothing aside from our little world. Disney was the perfect destination for us being together and in need of solitude. Yes, that place is always full of people, but no one knew us there. Hiding in plain sight, coupled with disappearing into crowds is much like being alone. No one pays attention. We loved it. Going over some of the finer points -- as well as our never-ending lust for each other -- was nearly as enjoyable as being there. Andrea with a smile had been something I needed like drawing breath. The conversation was so relaxed and comfortable, and our server wonderfully discreet. Lovely, just like the angel.



147

Flaming, smoldering, burning



Onward into the early evening we sat and wrapped our heads around 'us' and worked through the 'why'. Timing. Just fucking impeccable timing. Each had issues heavy enough to warrant a huge shift in need along with a helping of reckless disregard for the normal routine of life. The 'everyday' was disfigured into a messy swamp, while the need drove each to run away. And then the timing... just as the fucking bartender's gorgeous ass spun me into a whirlwind of dreamy, dripping sexual desire, the clock aligned me next to Andrea exactly as we were at the cusp of giving a flying fuck about anything. We began to care for each other, and that connection ended up leading us around like puppies after a snack. We lapped up the time as if it was life-giving. Talking and talking, and then talking more. We covered all of it and then some. Eventually the desire to stretch our legs took over and we left First for the boulevard. Hand in loving hand, out the big doors and across to the fountains. Upon reaching the center, Andrea stopped and took me into her arms...

'What can I say?'

She was right. The fusion was unbelievable, the trip excessive, and the time so necessary. We knew just three nights would pass quickly, yet considering everything through which we traveled the departures from Vegas were going to be livable. Necessary, too, because our recent lifestyle was enormously taxing, both financially and emotionally. The point of separation meant the beginning of living reality again. Days of conversation in Vegas, many more in Florida, and the flights in between were enough to cover every question or concern. We had ensured the door was always open. And speaking of open... into my ear...

'Fuck me.'

Jaysus I snatched her hand and walked with purpose back across the bridge. Inside, walking faster, to the elevator. Door, lips, hands, holy hell. Andrea undressed to the beautiful lace as I tossed everything to the walls. She was so affectionate, soft, and caring with her motions that I nearly could not match it. That golden skin was all over me again as if we were new and exploring. Her sex was that addiction I was unable to avoid. Just like at the Polynesian, around the world in eighty whatevers. Fuck me running. Andrea was everything I had wanted and needed for so long that I lost my mind over the beauty and wonder of her soul and body. All over the place. I fell to the floor more than once, looking up at the sight of her slender sexiness and flowing hair. She gazed back at me in loving expressions and joined me, resting herself on my chest with haphazard breathing and warm hands on my face. We laid there enjoying the quiet as I dreamed of remaining in such a space forever. Andrea whispered her joy into my ear and stated that she had never been happier. The time in Florida had been surreal, and our days in Vegas needed to stay calm. Less walking the boulevard and more of being close. More of the hotel room, too.

Quite some time passed before we lifted from the carpet and sprawled on the bed. I moved around to stare at her legs and ass, while Andrea remained still with that one sexy eye peering. She let me do whatever moved my brain, God love her. I gazed for a long while, caressed all of those curves, and stayed quiet until that angel took my sense away. In one smooth operation, she maneuvered us toward more of the bliss we experienced in Florida, soon leading both over the edge and in need of a warm shower. We talked a bit about some dinner and perhaps staying in the hotel so as to keep our clock tight.

'Pasta, mister sexpants.'
'Yes ma'am.'



193

Andrea's eyes telegraphed all sins



After a hot shower I watched her dress in purple lingerie from the mall. Jesus, and I had thought the orange was nice. Again with the skimpy thong and unlined bra. Fuck me. Black pants with only a seam between her cheeks, boots nearly to her knees, and yet another tank top of silk. Everything was black, including my near future. Holy hell was that woman the pinnacle of female beauty. We headed out the door and to the lobby for a taxi south. Along the ride, her hands were all over mine like always, and my eyes were all over her chest and legs. I needed to stare, and she understood completely. As we pulled up to the big MGM, I was glancing her thigh with my fingers and tracing the gorgeous curves leading to her sex. At one point just before we exited the car, I watched as her knees moved apart thus allowing me a quick touch to that place above all others. She smiled, gave me a kiss on the cheek, and made it clear that we were going to make dessert of each other after dinner. Oy God, I could not think straight after such a whisper. Out and into the massive lobby.

Dinner was nice, and reminded me of the hours spent at O'Hana in Florida. We stared, spoke softly, and indulged in some fantastic pasta thanks to Wolfgang Puck. The restaurant was first-class, just as we expected. Afterward, we cruised the casino and took in all of the wondrous lighting and activity. Andrea wished to walk back north to the big resort and find a comfortable place to have post-dinner drinks. We left the vast MGM behind and took to the street. Slowly along the entrances and bustling sidewalk with her arms wrapped around mine. The wine with dinner relaxed me a bit (as opposed to my beloved bourbon, which would have caused distress within), and she saw it, smiling. As much as I needed to drown myself in alcohol for so many reasons, I had no wish to cause Andrea discomfort. Further up the strip and along toward the Venetian. As we walked I felt strong needs to be inside her clothing again along with those soft lips wrapped around me. Speeding the pace a bit, I whispered of my desire. She smiled with our destination getting closer. My destination was waiting -- all warm and tender -- within that beautiful lingerie. The anticipation was overwhelming.

Elevator, hunger, eyes, room. Good God, the closer we stepped toward privacy, the more my brainpower fell away and was reduced to nothing other than the sex. Jesus, the drug again seemed to be everything. It took me over as always and left me yearning like the reckless addict I had allowed myself to become. Through the door with her ass appearing as the needle. I sat and tried to compose myself.



435

Right. Up. There.



Andrea stood there staring, blank expression, but with fingers moving. I stared right back and did my best to keep my eyes from wandering south. She began to slowly unbutton the silk, revealing the purple bow between her cups. Her eyes then moved down as she pulled the blouse open. I remained there mesmerized by the stunning beauty standing not five feet from me. Andrea grabbed a chair, sat with knees apart, and reached both arms beckoning me to move to her. I did as she wished, and she proceeded to pull off my shirt and kiss my skin. My pants were next, after which she looked up and mouthed 'I love you', and caressed my most personal of areas with gentle, loving care. I lost myself and watched her treating me as if I was the most delectable candy in existence. Over and over she pleased my skin with her tickling tongue and moist lips. Fingers all over, driving me nuts. Jesus God on a fucking lawn chair... too much of that and I would have been flowing into her with all force. I quietly asked her to ease up. Andrea kissed my blood pressure, smiled, and rose from the chair. She and those long legs began to walk very slowly toward the bed. Along the way, her pants gradually dropped down, revealing that little thong and the wonderful addiction I desired. The bra went flying across the room and she took to the covers on all fours with ass moving slowly back and forth, thus inviting me to do as I pleased. The sight was overwhelming, and though I had seen it nearly every day for weeks, I could not help but be taken aback yet again. Her curves along the upper thighs were displayed beautifully. I saw everything... from the spread of the skin around her knees along and up into the diverging radii leading toward her tender, gorgeous labia. I drooled and approached, losing the remainder of my clothing in the process. As I arrived at the bed, I dropped to look straight into one of the most mind bending sights of my life. I traced, glared, leered. My mouth yearned to taste her, and my blood pressure pushed me to ravage that woman from the floor to the ceiling. Still I moved slowly, taking in every single square inch of her skin and all of the angles from which I could possibly view that most addicting of images. She still moved a bit, and the changing look of her delicate labia and the oval nature of the surrounding area pulled me into a mental state disallowing anything else in existence. Holy fuck, she was all mine and knew that within moments I would lose myself and send her into orgasm after orgasm before plunging myself into the heat and pulling her to me with otherworldly strength. Andrea whispered over and over that she needed what I needed, and eventually I slid the tiny garment off and caused her to soar into the clouds. God help me for my fear of being without her. That right was soon, and due to my worry I pressed myself to please her as much as possible. In the process, I rose into heaven along with the angel of my dreams.



431

Constant desire within her fucking thong



Soon I spun her onto that tapered back and laid alongside catching my breath and trying to understand just exactly what I had done in life to deserve such unending and beautiful bliss. No sooner did I calm a bit when Andrea addressed me with her soft hands and then climbed on top, thus plunging her nipples into my face. I slathered her skin and took in every detail of those globes, paying close attention to heightening her excitement. She dropped herself down, moaning like the world was ending, and rode along until I could take no more. Upon feeling that familiar pulling sensation, I told her of being close to the limit. Andrea flipped herself and swallowed me with the hunger of a desert traveler approaching a fruit tree after days of starvation. She stayed still, trying to feel the pulsing and maintaining her loving tickles on my skin. I nearly had to pull her mouth away due to the intensity, but kept my hands upon her ass and my tongue inside her labia as a distraction. Over and over she moved slightly up and down, moaning the entire time. As pain began to enter my midsection and my blood repositioned itself, Andrea continued to keep her mouth all the way down upon my pelvis. She slowly rose, and I saw her eyes half shut with her pleasing tongue making revolutions around those full, smiling lips. I was done, both physically and mentally, and just as I began to clear the sexual confusion in my head, she stated that the feeling of my inner fluid being deep inside her provided a happiness and satisfaction she could not explain. Jesus fucking holy hell and Hades in a handbasket. A connection I had never imagined, and the angel of my decades-long dreams.

Andrea wrapped herself around me tightly, professed her deep love and appreciation, and then lay there silent. Eventually we drifted off to sleep, still covered in each other's sweat. God damn.

Nearly the entire morning passed without a word. Shower, clothes, walking, hugs, silence. Andrea smiled at me over and over, leaving my heart at a loss and filled with distress. Her presence still provided me with joy and comfort beyond belief, though. Being close had become all I needed in life. The worry was constant, though. Fucking constant. Andrea's eyes displayed the same, along with so much love. I found myself daydreaming about the night before, with the two of us finding places within each other that brought us to the heights of physical happiness. Her devotion to me made my heart leap beyond the stars. The idea of her being absent from my life and thousands of miles away caused fear that I would end myself, just as my blood had stated so fucking clearly not long before. We told the other over and over that each would be able to move forward in life after some time, but my faith was waning badly.

Eventually we made our way to First, and that is where conversation began. We sat, ordered, and she took my hands in hers on the bar. Andrea repeated that each of us would be just fine once the sting wore off. I had no idea how I could deal with being away from her, though. And the longer I pictured myself alone, the more the difficulty spun me into a ball of pain. After relaying the early tale of my leaving life a few months prior to running out of state, I honestly thought Andrea would fail to consider me without rancor. Nope. Not even a bit of it. She told me that I was a person, not above fault, and that she had made equally bad decisions in the past. Forward was the only direction. God damn she was wonderfully insightful and understanding. After more than an hour gazing both at each other and out the picture windows, Andrea expressed her desire to look around more while strolling toward the south.



440

Andrea, with her form sending me flying



The long, mostly-quiet walk brought the idea of that huge Irish pub within the NY NY where I awaited meeting with Ashley. The bar was half empty. We sat and talked further about splitting up while sipping whiskey and coffee. Her eyes showed me the difficulty, but every now and then there was a brightness brought on by the fact that we found each other in the first place. The odds were staggeringly against such a chance, meaning our time together represented that much more due to the deep appreciation for our circumstances. Both so damaged, but days later partly repaired and (hopefully) ready to go back and deal with the issues which sent each flying far from home. I had no fucking confidence in my ability to reenter and pick up, though. None. The faith in myself was again caused by another kind soul willing to be with me and support my heart like it was about to fall into an abyss. It was. The blackness was so close, and my blood screaming so loudly, that at times -- even sitting up against the beauty of the angel -- I severely imploded. The alcohol began to flow into me much more quickly.

Andrea noticed me drinking faster and became concerned. We both had a track record of being decent drunks at times, so I did not think I was doing anything much different. Apparently my drinking speed had increased and I ended up two rounds ahead before her worry became vocal.

'Love, you're getting pretty crocked right now.'
'I am not coping well, my dear. You swallowed me down and created so much intensity that I am having a hard time dealing with some inner pain there, and I am worried about going home.'
'I am sorry. Pain? Like, physical pain?'
'Yes.'
'From the past? Your surgery?'
'That strong of an orgasm sometimes leads to some pain. That was pretty powerful, and now I am feeling the effects.'
'Fuck, I am so sorry. The last thing I ever wish to cause you is pain. I lost myself in you and, well, needed to feel you.'
'It's ok, my love. Honestly.'

More whiskey and me nearly in tears from her caring and my worry. And then another shot along with a beer. I kept going like a proper fucking alcoholic and could not help myself. Cut to an hour or more later and I was fucking polluted but quiet. Andrea became increasingly worried and told me as much before we stood and left the bar. I remember tipping the bartender and stumbling a bit, but still felt as if I was in control enough to walk back north. Nope. Andrea took control and steered me toward the lobby for a cab. Somewhere along the way I fell asleep with her arms around me. We reached the Venetian and my swilling speed was still catching up, meaning that she had to find assistance in getting me to the room. Fucking drunk and sad beyond belief, I was. The security helped her get me back home for the day. To the bed and out like a light. Some time later I awakened, all dry and thirsty, with Andrea lying next to me and stroking my hair. I asked of the time and she replied that it did not matter in the least. Her concern was me falling off a cliff, and unlike prior drops, I was full of booze. She knew full well how the combination could amplify my negative mindset and send me into the ground like a spear from on high. That is precisely what was happening. We laid there and spoke of her desire to spend another night and change her plans of flying off toward Pensacola. She wished to leave the trip open until such time as there was confidence in my ability to maintain control and avoid a drunken, suicidal direction. Fuck, did she ever know me well after only a couple of weeks and what felt like years' worth of conversation. Andrea said that my eyes showed everything, and after seeing me that fateful day in the terminal, she felt compelled to explore what was behind them. Throughout our calming discussion, she expressed the fact that her worry was going to keep her next to me a while longer. She needed to know that I would survive the trip. The forceful nature of her words told me I had little choice. The truth was that I had been heading in the direction of killing myself shortly after her departure. I did not see the road ahead as being anything with which I could live. My entire being and self worth was derived from others and their attention toward my soul. Without that, I was a shell of a person with no real value. Once she boarded a plane and flew away, my days were severely truncated and very much numbered. The idea of me returning home was frightening beyond belief. I just did not see any way of moving forward. Death, illuminated and calling me as strongly as the drug.



140

She was unreal



So, I called the desk and slurred two more nights. They asked for fund confirmation which required me to visit the registration desk. I told Andrea as much, and she said that after a bit of coffee and a shower she would accompany me downstairs to complete the business. Moments later she seemed alarmed and asked about the massive cost of our adventure. I made it clear that there were no worries and I had the resources to remain in Vegas for months, if necessary. What she did not know was the damage I had been causing my future by throwing nearly my full retirement to the wind in search of something haphazard and ill-advised. Had I revealed that the entire number of days we had spent together amounted to slicing years off my life's financial worth, I was certain that the whole fucking affair would have come to a very abrupt end. Andrea was intelligent, and to know that I was causing myself even more harm might have sent her into a tailspin. Neither of us needed anything of the sort, so I kept the details of my financial black hole hidden. Just another facet of me slowly destroying myself. I simply did not give a shit about anything. All I thought of was being close to Andrea as long as possible and then throwing myself through the window and putting an end to what seemed too much for me to handle. And I needed more booze. I asked if we could have a cocktail or twelve, pushing Andrea to suggest something simpler, and behind the hotel room door only. No bar. She was ensuring I could not place myself in a situation where my control would cease. Fuck, did I ever feel like a wreck. A junkie. An alcoholic pile of depressed shit. But Andrea did not see that. As usual, she understood everything, and knew that her path could very easily veer toward oblivion, too. Fortunately, the control began while she was mostly clear. I had sped myself along but she kept it slow. One of us with sense was far better than both without. We straightened ourselves up a bit and took care of business in the lobby. Afterward, straight to the elevator with her ass in my eyes.

Once back in our little home, I asked if I could gaze again. Andrea smiled and said that I needed lots of water and then we would go out and get something to eat. She wanted to make certain that I was going to avoid being a drunkard before anything else. I understood, began to feel like an idiot, and relented. To the bed.

My blood was still whispering in the background. It would not be ignored. As I laid there listening to Andrea breathing and looking at her soft shoulders, my head tried to reconcile again. The pain of the previous day was brought on by so much gratification that I found it difficult to ignore the past. Three surgeries after my teenage years, there was still trouble which -- I was told -- likely would never go away. Andrea was so generous and affectionate, and her actions being driven by emotion did not allow me to back off, ever. Between her physical attractiveness and willingness to fulfill my needs and dreams, saying no out of fear of pain was just not going to happen. That type of sexual act has been viewed by many as far more personal than intercourse -- especially considering the troubling (to me) fluid being ingested by her body. And the reciprocal was my dramatic and often all-encompassing desire to please both her and myself by being in contact with her labia for sometimes an hour at a time. Feeling her writhing, moaning and gripping at the back of my head was above all other concerns within my life. It was the pinnacle of everything. A utopia, as it were. I had tried to analyze my addiction upon many occasions, and that led to deep thinking and resulted in nothing aside from more desire. Andrea was the culmination of every dream, every need, everything. Deep in thought and holding her tightly, we napped for a short time. Dreams, both up and down.

Just before she awakened in her lovely nakedness, I had the fleeting thought of waking up in the Brunette’s big bed and realizing none of it had been real.

Nope. Very real. Late morning.

Andrea slid her slender self on top of me, tossing the covers away. She dropped those warm nipples to my chest and began to kiss my neck as if the end of the world was outside our door. Jesus. Every now and then she whispered loving words into my ear and then continued, all over. Her hand slid down and began to fondle, sending my prior thought process into an incinerator. Holy crap, for the millionth time, she was an animal. She raised her head, I saw half-closed sex-drunken eyes, and then that fucking goddess of an angel rotated, lowered her beautiful ass to my waiting lips, and plunged her mouth again... no hands. I slathered her tenderness with affection driven by my heart, listening as her breathing went uphill and her legs began to tremble. Over and over she relentlessly bobbed up and down, driving pain into my insides as if someone kicked me. I quickly pulled her head up and away, feeling sadness over stopping something she wanted so badly. Damn it. Andrea knew, spun around and hugged me, beginning to cry. My heart sank, but not badly.

‘I'm sorry, love.’



445

Staring



My response? I stood and asked her to continue. Smiling, the angel sat before me in her gloriously beautiful nude skin, nipples up and out, and plunged, again with no hands. Just lips and tongue working furiously to please me and arrive where she desired. And that happened soon. Fingers across my skin, tongue tickling, I shuddered and let it fly into her. Andrea moaned with pleasure, staying gently over my blood pressure until it ceased. She kissed and tenderly caressed me with her tongue, and then wrapped those lovely arms around my legs and held on tight, professing her love for me. The pain was there, but not bad enough to force me back into bed. Andrea looked up with tears, smiled, and finally stood. We embraced as she whispered hope that I was ok. I told her it would subside with time, and the benefit far outweighed the pain. Andrea expressed that she wanted me to enjoy her rampant attention, and it had been difficult holding back to prolong the moments. She desired the fluid as much as pleasing me. Fucking hell, what a statement to hear. God I loved her. We then showered together as always, and dressed to mosey our asses out for a bit of looking around. The entire morning had my head spinning and reminiscing about the same act being performed upon me while flying. That blew my mind (blew?). Heh.

Out and downstairs with the angel looking stunning again. We strolled to the boulevard to find the mercury had risen again. We needed connected resorts to avoid the sun, so across the street and into TI and some conditioned air, and then a short tram ride into the Mirage. Bar, seated, staring, caressing. My insides had been untwisting, but still I requested we sit a long while.

‘Sweetheart, don't get hammered or I'll rip off your pants right here and do it again.’

Holy fucking threats, batman. I loved her humor and listening to that adorable giggling. We sat as I slowly sipped the Sapphire, only matching her pace. The conversation went all over the place, from sex to my past, on to her past and our fucking long trip. We watched others, spoke with the bartender (gorgeous, of course), and planned to visit the Palm for lunch. Three cocktails and I was ready to stroll, feeling better and getting hungry. Along the walk south to the Forum, Andrea revealed that at no other time in her life had she enjoyed so much oral affection, in either direction. I was surprised because she seemed to know how to push those passionate buttons and tease just enough to drive me crazy. I could not imagine such an experience being anything other than pure bliss. Feeling, watching, hearing... it was second to the drug nested warmly in her little undergarment. I responded by telling her as much, and added that to be against her sex was something I could not live without. I also assured her that later in the day she was going to squirm all over the room. I wanted to see her from every angle imaginable. Staring, posing, diving, pleasing long enough to get that heroin flowing into my blood and all the way through to my heart. I looked forward to making Andrea into a plaything and positioning her in many ways. My imagination created longing, and that in turn brought pressure which led to slight pain. Fuck. Whatever... we strolled into the massive Forum with my brain dripping out of each ear. God she was wonderful.

The Palm and its stunning array of exotic martinis. Yes. We grabbed cocktails from the bar and sunk in. A light lunch, appraising glances from others, and gaga being telegraphed from our eyes. The restaurant booths were comfortable, and that prompted us to slouch and enjoy. I asked our lovely server about staying awhile and she smiled and said no problem whatsoever. She looked at Andrea with sex eyes for a second, and then swaggered away. Wow... the squarehead effect in Las Vegas? Hmm. Andrea only laughed and returned her attention to my eyes. Honestly, I could not blame the woman for admiring a work of art. Andrea was a fucking goddess, and the words fail. We talked a bit about that crazy encounter with those dipshits in Florida and laughed the whole way through. Just seeing their reaction to Andrea’s beauty and our drinking pace was hilarious. They tried so hard, but in the end the two of us were just too far into each other’s soul. Lunch was very relaxing, along with pleasant conversation. I felt as if my difficulty that morning cut her satisfaction short, so I stated my sexual intentions clearly, and the result was Andrea warming quickly along with her foot up and down my leg. I told her that there would be no lack of pleasure, and she loved it.

Check, PLEASE.



457

No stomach whatsoever



Back to the street, and along to our home. Upon entering, Andrea pulled me close and whispered, 'shower'. Yep... I watched her make a show of losing her shoes, jeans, and top, and then the fucking lingerie. Holy God on a fucking ski lift, no matter how often I saw her undress, my mind was ground into fishbait every time. Into the water with affection and eyes, but few words. Out, dry, gazing and smiling. Her excitement was apparent judging by haphazard breathing and eyes heading toward that half-closed sex stage. I glanced over toward the bed, which pushed Andrea to stroll over and crawl to the center. She stayed on all fours, back arched, arms straight, and her knees shoulder-width. She glanced back, widened her knees, and that was that. I moved to her, sat, and stared at that form above all other beauty in the world. Centered, staring, needing. My vein was soon satisfied as I very gently pressed my tongue, upon which she moaned and tried to stay still. Further, softly, and for what felt an eternity, I sent Andrea and her gorgeous sex into the sky many times. I flipped her, gripped those slender thighs, and continued. Orgasm after orgasm. She shuddered, swore to God, clenched my head and hands, and went through it again. My mind was gone... there was no thinking, just instinct and addiction which shut out the world. More... further... sweat upon her flat stomach, and words of loving appreciation for the journey I had provided. And more, as I moved her to the sofa, sat, and guided her knees next to my shoulders as I attended her from front to back with my fingers pinching her nipples. Her hands gripped mine as several more orgasms rocked her body. I could not control myself... I was in heaven, with a goddess, and pleasing both of us without limit. Another shivering orgasm as she spoke my name, another plunge into her delicious labia with her warm flavor all over my lips. I drank it all in and absolutely lost my mind with satisfaction. I loved her and the physical connection rose to the emotional connection. And another, with her fingers holding my head so tightly that she was pulling my hair from the roots. Again she cried out, and I felt pressure like never before. I whispered that I needed her passionate attention, and she responded by spinning and swallowing all of me until the rushing flood arrived. I was spent, in pain, but happier than I had thought possible. We flopped down on the floor, exhausted, and she grabbed my face, shaking, eyes huge, and told me the world was in order. And then the next words...

'I will never be this happy again, my love.'
'Neither will I, angel.'

Professions of love, lots of melting eyes and slight tears. We had found the heavenly place that was created out of the mutual need and understanding of each other’s desire and place in the world. Soon we had to reenter life as it had existed, with hope that our experience would be the guiding star illuminating something better. Regardless, our separation was going to be a trial no matter the future. As the minutes passed, Andrea began to appear at peace in every way -- not just the immense physical satisfaction and huge release of tension. Her face looked so soft and thoughtful. The woman had a way of looking to me with a combination of wounded bird and overwhelming love. We were connected so deeply by that point that entire conversations took place without a spoken word. The whole fucking thing seemed like it originated in a book or something. Andrea, my angel, lying there with an indescribable expression along with eyes bigger than life itself. God help me for the following days, weeks, months, years (still).

We ended up dozing off for a little bit, and courtesy of the air conditioning, awakened fucking freezing. Into the hot shower, dressed to the nines, and away we went to look around again. With lingering pain, I was exhausted from the inability to resist Andrea and her loving, sexual hunger. Mine, too. There seemed no end to it. How was I supposed to resist a dream? No way... not in this life. Andrea was an absolute goddess and filled every gap I had ever developed. Her eyes injected love, her body transmitted heat like never before, and her heart spoke to me constantly. Each time I thought there could be no more up, there it was. I displayed none of the worry in order to keep her as happy as possible. She knew I was having difficulty, but she did not know that my need to be completely drunk for drowning out the harshness of thought was trying to command my decisions. I did not wish to cause her any discomfort. I wanted her at peace.

The terrible, hellish feelings were pushing me into a hole, and with the angel hanging on my arm. She knew it because her situation was similar. As we walked along the path toward the lobby, I could not help but feel for her situation as described to me days earlier in Florida. I needed Andrea to be happy upon our parting, and all of the conversation throughout those many days led me to believe that she was going to be just fine. Inside me, on the other hand, was the worry that I would be anything but. I knew that her departure would lead me to drop dramatically. The fear was that I may never know of her future. That was where faith entered the equation. Yes, faith... something with which I had wrestled for years. For me to have faith in anything at that point was a stretch. In myself? Impossible.



432

Yes, Andrea looked like that



We walked along to the Canal again and then through to the Palazzo to rest ourselves and imbibe a bit. After sliding in to the comfortable casino bar, Andrea gave me the green light to drink as I wished. Oh boy. I had no intention of getting sloshed despite my head needing it, and badly. The end was near, meaning each second had to be embraced as the last. We sat there and talked of the next morning along with our impending separation. Andrea seemed completely at ease over the whole thing. In Florida more than one emotional breakdown took place, and nothing so severe since. We stabilized into a routine of keeping each moment pleasant. Just like the parks and attractions, whenever we were sitting together in a bar or restaurant, strolling to see the sights, or close in the hotel room, the contact was nearly constant. We soaked each other up like never before. Andrea’s big eyes spoke volumes, receiving replies from me every time. The bartender avoided the usual speech regarding putting money in the machines for complimentary drinks due to us appearing to be on an island -- far from the remainder of the club. He maintained distance as his reading of people matched that of our favorite staff in Downtown Disney. Discretion, understanding, service. Andrea commented on our good server-fortune in Vegas and Florida. I could not disagree, stroked her long hair, and continued to speak of our places in the world.

More drinks, more eyes, more hands. Nearly three hours at a slow pace, one bartender change, and waning light from the windows off in the distance. Our time together felt as if it was waning at a similar pace. I still had plenty of worry, too, but she calmed me with that soft voice and reassuring manner. She reminded me so much of Juliette at times. That woman was the carrier of peaceful thinking and had me breathless at times. Andrea did as well, often leaving me falling off to sleep knowing all would be well. The feeling had been returning that evening at the bar, and for once I was not thinking in physical terms. I had no doubt we would go crazy all over each other again soon, and that made the relaxation that much more calm. We were still, sitting, and doing that which we loved most -- just being close. After more time had passed, Andrea slid her chair closer, threw those legs across my lap, and planted a kiss I would not soon forget. Whispering loving words into my ear, she smiled and dropped her pretty face to my shoulder. I held on and dreamed of a world in which there was no end to it. Unfortunately, two days away was one of the defining and most difficult moments of my entire life. I pushed it away and whispered back, gripping her hands. We embraced and exited toward the boulevard.

Forum, Spago, and two more barstools. We enjoyed a few drinks and some great caesar salad, then off the stools toward home. Again Andrea walked with arms wrapped around mine and her head resting on my shoulder. It was wonderful... cucumber, strawberries, and the sporadic smooches on my neck. Across, through, and up to our big room for the night. Inside, she ordered wine and cheeses, took to the sofa, and dropped those heels. I sprawled all over her and we laid there together in silence, awaiting a knock. The sound seemed to come immediately after we lost our shoes. Just like in the beginning, the fucking clock spun out of control. The wait was more than half an hour but flew by like mere seconds. Damn it anyway… I needed the time to slow. Nope. After a couple of glasses, Andrea said she was tired and needed to snuggle. We undressed with eyes on each other, and slid into the sheets to hold on tight. The moments were cooler than during previous days, with us kissing over and over. Holding on, whispers, off to sleep. I dreamed of taking her home, witnessing the subsequent damage from all sides, and awakened in a sweat, fearing for my sanity. I laid there listening to the familiar sound of Andrea breathing, and looked over to see the sheet pulled down far enough to expose her breasts... pointing slightly away from each other and one up a bit in defiance of her position. Her nipples were soft, waiting, but I had no intention of disturbing the angel. We both needed rest from the trials of thinking. I tugged at the covers a tiny bit to gaze at her ilial crests and the valley between. A touch further would have meant me seeing her tender labia, but that would have been too far. The bridge which formed across her crests had that little pelvic island where the material of her thong touched skin before stretching across to the opposite side. I rose a bit to look at the details for seconds before resting again. Knowing that Andrea would let me do anything I wished -- from looking upon her in any number of ways, to engaging in any conceivable act -- did not push me to feel as if I was doing anything wrong. There was something so peaceful about watching her sleep while admiring all that made up her vast beauty. Every tiny detail was before my eyes. The lines down her stomach as they aligned and became framed by bone, her slender arms -- one up over her head and exaggerating the way her breasts sat -- and one down at her side with fingers outstretched. I went with my obsession and drew the sheet further, revealing her upper thighs and that space which had ruled my thinking and drove decisions beyond comprehension. The thong wrapped her lovely, delicate parts perfectly, and I could see where hair had once been. Andrea was meticulous about her body, from keeping clean to ensuring she looked as good as possible at all times. I looked at everything without a sexual thought entering my damaged head. Above the softness, the tapering of her torso down to that little waist where the thong hung on. Still I stared, taking in her smooth skin until dropping my head to her chest and falling back to sleep. No more dreams. Andrea was all of them.



022

Dessert



In the morning she was wrapped to me, one leg and one arm over my body. I drank in her scent awhile before rising to start the day. Andrea awakened just after, and requested pancakes while smiling in that way which turned me into mush every time. Into the shower where we kissed for a long while once again before dressing. We grabbed a taxi all the way to the MGM and cruised through to the Studio for some food. The booth afforded us a view of people walking along restaurant row along with the other storefronts. It was our type of spot, which combined flirting and staying partially above the public eye.

‘You are so beautiful.’

Andrea became all manner of mushy, sliding the foot up my leg again, and commenting that we had not smothered each other with sex since the previous afternoon. My wheels began to turn, and I suggested we stroll north and prolong the bliss. Perhaps a drink or three on the boulevard, too. Off our asses. We headed up the street and into PH, leading to the casino bar just outside the pinkness of the famous Pleasure Pit and its slough of eyeballs. We sat there for a snort or two before winding through and back outside. The sun was beginning to peek between clouds, and that pushed Andrea to peel that jacket from her frame, thus sending her breasts into my psyche and drowning out the world around us. Good God, the sleeveless look and color of her fucking skin were so gorgeous... shoulders, clavicle recesses, towering neck, that mass of wavy hair flowing in the breeze, and the blouse tightly wrapping her little waist and creating a motion unlike anything before. Goddamn son of a bitch, she looked like sex on heels. I fell behind a few steps and watched her gait until I could take no more. I snatched Andrea and ducked into the nearest door to smother her with physical attention. She responded by telling me that the room needed to happen soon. Upon seeing casino guests peering at our displays of affection, we grabbed hold of each other and stepped with purpose. Again I lagged in my steps and stared at the ass of my dreams. Holy fuck, those pants were killing my vision. Her thighs swung to and fro with a tad of compression which lent to her ass moving up and down, in turn revealing the gap with every step. I picked up the pace and grabbed her lack of tummy, held tight, and pressed myself to her with matching pace. And then we both caught fire, speeding along. With all haste, to the fucking Venetian and our little slice of paradise.

And our second-to-last night.

Juliette? No... Andrea? Yes, but with a tactful delay which threw me for a loop I could not believe. One cup of coffee. Huh? What? No room? Fucking hell. Just like Juliette, Andrea delayed us slightly by rerouting toward the central lounge for a bit of caffeine. Honestly, a little boost could not have hurt since we had been swilling for some hours. We cruised in, took a seat, and then I informed her that dinner would be up to me. No problem, but before that? Yes, all of it. Exploration, leering, positioning, diving, and then likely her need to engulf me with that loving, caring softness which I adored. Coffee. Eyes. So much love that I thought my heart would explode. Sound familiar? How many fucking times have I gushed about it? Andrea was all of it. Every fucking dream all rolled into one beautiful package, with heart and soul to match. Jesus fucking God.

We left the lounge heated like the methanol-induced preignition on a turbine. Upon arriving upstairs I could no longer think straight. Her form was too much, and I had watched all the way to the elevator and along the hallway. No swaggering, just walking. Through the door with Andrea spinning to jump on me -- smiling -- and locking lips. We were all over the room, clothing flew everywhere, all of it. Everything. Andrea had been looking at me with sex eyes again, driving me crazy with desire. I rolled her all over the bed, sofa, floor... everywhere to take in that wonderful drug and find the high I so badly needed. Behind her, all fours, on her back with feet against my head, upright on my face directly with me gently pinching her swollen nipples and hearing gasps of delight. After a long while I plunged myself until running completely out of energy. I fell back and laid there absolutely spread eagle, and tried to catch my breath. Andrea squirreled her way against me and expressed her love. Wonderful, sweaty, dripping with fulfillment. And me lying there with that nagging pain that would never go away.

'Jesus, love.'

I wanted her to be happy more than anything in the world. She told me she was, and I could not avoid some tears. Andrea held and laid there a long time before uttering another word.

'Are you ok?'
'I will be.'



046

Andrea's body, matched only by her beautiful soul



And then a big hug before we took to the shower. She was so warm and gentle, and wanted to please both of us in the water but I had to decline. That caused her head to drop slightly, yet there was no disappointment. That had become a part of my life -- unavoidable -- and something I had been living with for decades. It hung on, always. Sometimes before, sometimes during, and nearly always after. We washed, kissed, hugged. Afterward, Andrea donned her beautiful orange and relaxed. I went to her and sat, thinking of how sexually active we had been for days, and the toll it took on me. She commented about how unfair it seemed. I told her the upside was the flip side. I went insane causing her all that moaning and screaming, also making it clear that the act was above all things. Such an obsession would not allow for any less attention paid to her loveliness. I had to have it, and even sitting there after driving her over the top many times, I still needed more. But rest was the priority. We sat and talked for a while before deciding to exit the room for cocktails somewhere comfortable. Off to Double Helix.

Two hours... and drunk. Andrea noticed my slurring and goofy eyes, remarked that we needed to get out of there before more booze took my sense away, stood and pulled me to my feet. Check paid (and Jesus fuck that place is expensive), and off we went with her guiding my steps. Upstairs, off with the clothing, and lots of water. We relaxed and spoke for some time before my drunkenness took me to sleep. Dreams of Andrea’s soft lips wrapping me in pleasure. I awakened to see her next to me, sans bra, and staring into my eyes. She immediately rose and called room service for coffee and croissants, returned to me and intertwined my fingers to hers. I gazed at the motion for a few moments before she revealed that her flight was booked. Ouch. Fucking ouch. Not even her sitting on my lap with those breasts right in front of me and looking so gorgeous could pull my head from the frightening thought of being without her soulful presence. I was taken aback so badly that all other thoughts flew far away. Andrea held me -- that time with her nipples pressed right on my face -- and whispered over and over that I would survive. I would be fine, move forward, and cherish all that we had been. Goddamn it all, I fell apart. Fuck. She just held me tight as I kept my arms around that slender torso. More words of love, and then the water works began. Moments passed as the stark reality slammed me like a crash test barrier receiving a semi. It was harsh, unrelenting for a while, and shook me to the very core. Andrea just held on and kissed my head softly until I calmed. She took my face in both hands and told me she loved me along with...

'We are going to be fine, love.'

Back to the embrace for a long time. I held Andrea until she repositioned herself to my side and relaxed that intense, emotional gaze. As I sat there trying to absorb the finality of her flight home being solidified, Andrea looked upon me with a mixture of sympathy and concern. I was worried for her, as well, and said as much along with caressing her neck. The words ceased, leaving us to enjoy being so close. Eyes, hands, love. As the minutes passed, I found myself looking toward her chest as it sat there warm and exposed. My pupils traced the curvature along the underside of each breast while marveling at her nipples pointing away from each other and screaming for my lips. Slowly I warmed as the blood moved into the space previously ignored and overlooked in favor of my heart’s desire. My hand slid to caress her breast, Andrea’s hand slid to caress my thigh, and then further in, driving me nuts. She tugged and went inside my shorts while slithering down to the carpet. I watched her eyes look at me with need, she smiled, fondled, and then slowly plunged as I sat there. Over and over I watched the motion until feeling the need to stand. Andrea paused, allowing me to get comfortable, and then sat on her legs to continue. I looked down to see her nipples bouncing a bit, her thigh gap below, and that defiant waist above her ass. I leaned and peered behind her to see the taper down to her thong and the beginning of the material diving between her cheeks. Soon I felt a pull as she tickled and slid, and that was that. Holy God, she did it again... smiling, moaning, caressing. I shook and tried to stay on my feet while staring at the satisfaction on her face.

‘Goddamn I love that.’

And then her lips and tongue were on me again softly. The sight and sound sent me flying like always, and as she treated me with loving care, I could not avoid becoming dreamy, mushy, and very clingy. Upon seeing her stand and smile, I grabbed hold and hugged her slender body as if the end was near. Well, it was.



318

The lines leading me



Andrea snuggled to me like a second skin. She whispered words into my ear and kissed my neck, during which I just stood there, completely floored by her strong love for me. We held close for quite a while before she pulled me toward the shower. At arm’s length, I watched her walk wearing nothing but the orange thong, and felt my head explode again. Her cheeks were so cute being split slightly by the material, and the ‘V’ created above was stunning. Into the hot water, lots of hugs and soapy hands, out. And then I took her by the hand, led her to the bed with my flaring, flaming junkie eyes, and wasted no time diving into her sex until she cried out and shook. My hand was losing blood flow from her grip as she rocked through one orgasm after another for half an hour. Every now and then her eyes met mine with a desperate and urgent expression along with her mouth hanging open as she gasped. She bucked against me with a gripping hand behind my head, every now and then slapping me out of passion. I backed off a few times to gaze in wonder at the details of her most personal of spaces. Andrea rode my lips a while longer and then collapsed in a gorgeous heap. I could not help but attack her... the lingerie, oral wonder she gave to me, and the shower afterward just pulled me from myself and drove my druggie need over the fucking top. I needed it. Just needed. Jesus fucking Christ, what the fuck was to become of me with that fix very soon unavailable? I imagined the worst withdrawal possible, and it scared the shit out of me. Fuck... drug... need... soon gone.

Some would say better to have had it than not. Yeah? Bullshit. Fuck you.

We sprawled on the bed for some moments before words were uttered. Andrea’s clamping hands were welded to mine as if she was on the edge of a cliff. She told me that the remaining hours of that last full day together needed to be as comfortable as possible. Yes... and I needed alcohol like never before. We prepared ourselves for the public and rolled into the casino looking like a pair of black silk mannequins. The bartender welcomed us and I began throwing back Sapphire as if the sky was falling. Because it was. The clouds were swirling into a cyclone and sweeping me to a pile of debris. My head was consumed with worry and there was no hiding it. Andrea looked upon me with a big smile and eyes telegraphing care. My brain had been so saturated with sex that the mechanics of simple tasks were arduous. Drinking? No issue whatsoever. More gin, more worry, more of the defiant clock spinning. After a decent amount of time, the relaxation began and I took it easy with the concern. Andrea noticed, as her alcohol consumption had increased aside mine. We sat there and spoke of the next day, which started to seem like it was going to be livable, survivable, not as bad as my head had blown it up. Her kindness and understanding helped those thoughts to develop in the first place, and continued to nurture them throughout our final few days together. Arriving in Vegas the second time felt like crossing from a dream into reality. Florida seemed like another planet upon our touching down, and the many days brought us to identify that period as the definition of our relationship. Being back in the Venetian was a step toward the end, whereas our initial departure toward Disney was the beginning of the most exciting, free period that felt limitless at the time. The clock spun against our loving will, yet connected us in a way I did not see coming. Those words on the first flight were short and to the point, and the little moments in the Pensacola terminal took me away from all clarity and drove me into a surreal, ethereal wonderland encapsulating the two of us and nothing else. No fucking idea how it happened, and the incredible convergence of circumstances of each of us trying to flee for our lives was unbelievable. And then love, caring, understanding, soulful fire... everything. We became one after being more than two thousand miles apart and having absolutely no conception of one another.

One. And soon to be cut in half and thrust against the sharp, harsh blade of existence. The voice of my fucking blood began to speak again. Loud.

In time the alcohol did much of the talking. Andrea seemed loaded too, leading me to desire getting the fuck out of there. I tossed bills to the bar, tugged at Andrea’s arm, and we exited, cocktails in hand. Back to the elevator and our slice of privacy to relax and hopefully regroup. The emotions and activities that day were taxing on more than one front. The comfort of our big room became necessary. Once inside, I started the tub filling and grabbed the phone for something light yet energizing. Andrea slid quickly out of her clothes, again affording me the view of a lifetime. We rinsed briefly and then climbed into the tub, awaiting the arrival of room service. Sitting close, all hugs and hands, we sunk into the big spa with few words. The feeling of her soft skin against me was calming. Eyes, kissing, warmth. Nothing more than two chins above the waterline. I daydreamed about her sensitive parts being brought to heights but did not head in such a direction. The closeness was enough.

Tons of deep love. Tons.



351

She redefined my passion



The spa water led to much solace, some loving conversation about the nature of us, and relaxation we needed. Oh yes... a bit of sobering, too. The knock pulled me out of the bubbles to find a trolley with coffee and pastries awaiting our silly mood. The caffeine and sugar raised my body out of the din and helped us with energy to spiff and wander. Light blue lingerie, jeans which seemed designed specifically for Andrea, and another tank with shoulders gleaming. Between the scent of her hair, those c-cups bouncing, and the lotion all over, I could have ripped off her jeans and dove again. I refrained from flirting enough to get her out of the clothing in favor of leaving the room for something different. The hours were passing, which meant cherishing moments. And I knew whatever I desired was mine. Andrea looked so fucking beautiful that even after two weeks together I was still in disbelief that she chose to be with me. I mentioned that thought in the elevator, and the angel replied that upon seeing me in the Dallas terminal, she felt a tremendous need to know me, and the sex was the icing. Her first thought was to hold me. I looked wrecked, and she soon learned that we were in similar situations. Sitting next to each other on the plane was a blind chance out of the sky.

We exited the big resort and went straight across the boulevard for the big bar in the Mirage’s Atrium. Along the way I was loving life, with Andrea absolutely locked to my left arm and her pretty head on my shoulder. She was so tall -- nearly six feet with heels -- that resting it was comfortable for her. And I adored her affection like nothing else in life, returning the same as often as possible. Andrea stopped us at the main casino entrance, pushed me against the glass and kissed me deeply as if the end of the world was on the other side of the doors. Jesus, her lips were like the first swallow of wine after crossing a desert.

'With that out of the way, let's go get crocked.'
'Yes ma'am.'

Bar. Bourbon. Eyes. Love.

We discussed the next morning’s timing, and calculated that immediately after her departure from the Venetian, I had to stay away from the bars until the evening. Oy. Andrea did not want me drowning in booze and tears so soon after her exit. I couldn't blame her, either. The woman knew me inside and out. Better than anyone save for possibly the victim. So I agreed, followed by her requesting that I promise. Nope. I did not have the strength to guarantee any type of behavior upon saying goodbye. She understood and only asked that I be careful and consider her wishes at all times. We reached a bit of an agreement, and that included her contacting me from home and confirming that she would be ok. That was a given. Once business was out of the way, I asked about dinner at the Mandalay Bay, and received a huge smile. Yes. And then I asked her for a show for dessert and saw those eyes which were all the way in my heart. Jesus. Andrea had that look which told me she was way ahead of the wave when it came to our after-dinner hours. She revealed that there were some things from shopping at the Fashion Show that I had yet to see. She had been saving them for my eyes and hands since that trip to the mall. Oh boy did my head spin into a sexual hurricane with every detail of her goddess-like body being traced over and over. Andrea assured me that I would not be disappointed. Fuck me in a rain gutter, I had no doubt whatsoever, and anticipated her affection more than anything. From that point forward, the fucking druggie vein was swelled up and yearning for that injection of the most beautiful heroin in existence. Another round of bourbon and my brain feeling wrung out like last week’s laundry. Thoughts of her being mine again were causing me to dream and glare at her with all that I was. Her curves and dimensions... holy fuck. And combined with the way she felt about me? In-fucking-credible. God love her and that huge, loving heart.



414

Form of a goddess



Four rounds in, we left that tropical palace for the south in a taxi. Upon reaching the Luxor, I figured some coffee would be nice to offset the bourbon, and hopefully corral my loosened tongue before I found trouble. Andrea loved it, however my vocalization was so flamboyant and reckless at times that I had occasion to make even myself cringe. We slid into Aurora’s peninsular lounge and sank. The plush was right up our alley. Andrea lounged with her legs across my lap along with a smile. The top-heavy server approached and stated that she was going to take our order but we appeared to have all that we needed. I could not disagree in the least. Without delay, Andrea ordered two cappuccinos along with rock sugar. The server took off and left the two of us to our conversational devices. Much business was on tap to maintain plans for the evening and morning. As we went over the timeline, my mind often drifted toward the unveiling of her purchase at the mall. I kept trying to distract myself from the dreamy vision of her wonderfully sculpted body and true the course. Not. Fucking. Easy. Andrea looked like the ultimate combination of every fucking idea in my head for years. She sat there with her hair all over the place -- sometimes twirling it flirtatiously -- and those thighs straight, effectively reducing my mental capacity by a dramatic degree. The brain inside my head was already so far out of whack that any further damage seemed impossible with which to deal, yet unavoidable due to me being so fucking weak and unbalanced. Years of striving for the wrong lifestyle had taken their toll on my daily functioning. Add to that the dire need for bodily heroin, and the mix was all but killing me. The following morning seemed a test of my willingness to either ride or die.

Our conversation slowed, two more caps were incoming, and I found myself staring and attempting an analysis of the compound curves of her inner thighs. Two disparate gaps, one above and one below, had become the very definition of my ambition and desire. Images, writing, and futile efforts of measuring photographs of models which had been derived from scaling and drawing. Impossible with any decent accuracy, of course, but such was my fucked up mind. Obsession led to imbalance, and that led to the most wreckage I could have possibly caused within my life in search of reason. Years and years, thousands of images, measuring tools, and frustration came together one fateful day and I fled everything. I ran my fucking distorted ass off and sought satiation for the need.

Andrea noticed me gazing for moments before telling me sweetly that anything I wanted would be available soon. Any fucking Goddamned thing I needed to see or do was a resounding yes. I failed in the effort to imagine not being near that angel. The upcoming night seemed surreal and dreamy, but it was going to happen. The coffee helped with those high-speed cobwebs which had formed around my bleeding brain, however my need to be drunk and fucking numb began to rear its ugly head. I told Andrea that I was having trouble and she responded calmly that worry could be mitigated, and some booze was ok. Yes. So... the Jack began to slowly flow into me, and the angel opted for vodka. We sat a while longer before discussing the path across the bridge and into Rumjungle. Our server courteously and beautifully left the check, I dropped cash and took Andrea's hand, and out like we were starving.

Rumjungle seemed lively and quite the opposite of my mind which was being pressed by thoughts of Andrea's departure the following morning. Damn. We were seated, ordered from their menu comprised of hundreds of different exotic rums, and proceeded to go over the activities of the next day. Throughout the discussion Andrea's eyes were enormous and very emotional, causing me to drop considerably despite being in the lap of luxury and across the table from that soulful beauty. I watched her long fingers toying with mine and felt as if I would not survive them being permanently out of reach. Eventually dinner arrived and by that point we had a plan for making the separation as tolerable as possible. I knew she had to leave, knew that our romance could not go on forever, but still the difficulty was mounting; all the while the blood still asking to flow out of me. Fuck, never in my life had I feared a situation more. The single saving grace was the slipper awaiting my return and allowing me control of time and place once again. The funds were still available, too, meaning I had resources should the need arise for me to locate myself in comfort.

After dinner we departed and walked very slowly toward the Mandalay's beautiful lobby. Taxi time.



482

The final night, lingerie and heels. Fuck me



Home to our big room again. Andrea strolled into the bathroom, a bag dangling from her shoulder, and her hands slowly and teasingly peeling those pants off her gorgeous ass. I relaxed and awaited her return with baited breath, anticipating that ass representing a much-desired dessert. During those moments alone on the sofa, my head attempted to reconcile itself with the fright of the next morning. I had no idea how I would actually react after days of knowing and fearing the end. Would it be my end, too? Maybe. One certainty was beyond doubt: Andrea could not know of my feelings or I would be in for a trying situation; even worse than the one already before me. I had to maintain control over all of it until such time as I was alone and able to explore my available paths.

No sooner had I organized my thoughts, when Andrea emerged and sent me flying for the millionth time. She was clad in burgundy, wavy hair everywhere, and heels to the tune of three inches. Those shoes sent her to just under six feet, all legs and contrasting skin. Her choice of lingerie seemed specifically tailored to what she knew of my taste. Lace, front-hook unlined bra, bows, and the bottoms were just over a thong with slightly more material above her cheeks, along with quite the lines being drawn solely to define all those curves I loved dearly. Holy Jesus fucking Christ in the trunk of a car. The goddess stepped closer to me with huge, emotional eyes and leered at me with the most wonderfully expressive and romantic invitation. The lingerie fit her like it was designed for those curves. She approached me slowly and I watched the sides of her thong as they followed the exaggerated motion caused by the heels. Closer, smiling, hair, and pieces of my brain falling out of my ears. Her breasts bounced in sync with each other and called to me. The front lace of her lingerie was clinging to her flat stomach and showing off the tapers leading down toward the waistband. Until that point in the two-plus weeks we had spent together, Andrea’s underwear had all been quite similar and differed little other than by those beautiful colors. Her current outfit was elegant and with more lace, thus completely driving me out of my mind. Fucking hell. Andrea looked like the culmination of every single detail of my life's desire. So fucking gorgeous and bright that I nearly lost my head.

'I hope you like my outfit.'
'Are you fucking kidding?'

That brought on the laughter and relaxed both of us despite being up against the clock and something neither of us wished. Andrea knew our last night had to be something special, but I assured her that every moment since our chance meeting on Virgin was exactly that. Upon hearing my words, she melted and grabbed me tightly. I smelled that hint of fruity shampoo and soap. Oh, God. She pulled me up for a hug, kissed me, and said she loved me. My heart was overpowered by her eyes. Andrea let go and shoved me to the sofa. I sat there incredulous and staring at my love. All sense flew away and was replaced by passion. She turned slowly, allowing me to stare at that eye-level show of unreal form. Every single curve was moved, changed, and displayed from so many angles that I suddenly could not understand myself. I had no idea what to think and wished only to spend the rest of my life in front of her. Hips, thighs, that little mound from front and back resting inside her clothing and appearing like the sum of my existence. I reached and traced those personal curves leading from her upper thighs toward the vulva. Andrea’s breathing became haphazard in anticipation of me sending her sex to the moon. Her eyes were partially closed with that insane expression I knew meant we were in for it. Longer she let me look upon her form, until finally I had to touch. I pulled her to my lap, held tight, and we kissed for a long while along with her gyrating against me and driving me out of my fucking head. Andrea was overheated and full of desire. She backed off slightly with slight tears and professed her love and happiness over what we had become. One hand slid down to me and gently caressed -- making me crazy -- while her other hand grabbed the back of my head as she plunged her lips and tongue once again. I was nuts for her; out of my head with need. Moments later she backed off again and moved to the bed to flop down and catch her breath. I sat there staring in disbelief that such a goddess was all over me. I just did not understand, but told her loveliness that our night was something I would never forget.

To the bed, and toward the most beautiful woman ever before my eyes.



476

Her unreal radii before my eyes



I reached, glared, and placed her knees up and together. I sat at the foot on that lush carpet and looked upon her wondrous radii as I had so many times before. The lace trim on her burgundy thong was perfectly symmetrical and lined its way down to her cheeks, along the way forming a little bent triangle on each side. Her skin was smooth, and the material converged just below that gorgeous, delicate labia and dove south and around to the back. I gently glanced her thighs causing small gasps as she knew full well that my attention and desire would shortly be sending her into a sexual frenzy. Taking it slow was very difficult but I knew the time was our last. I had to stare. The image of her vast and shapely beauty needed to be tattooed to my brain even though I knew that upon her departure I would be in severe pain and mired in a long period of hellish withdrawal. Still I kept back, leering to my heart’s content until finally I had to move her a bit. I gently straightened those long legs and slowly rolled her over, pulling one knee up and grabbing her hips to accentuate my obsession. And the payoff was immediate... Andrea looked like a map of the inside of my drenched brain. More I stared, softly rubbing the burgundy material and causing motion in her hips. The lace and fringe drove my head into the clouds, along with seeing her dramatic disparity from hip to waist, and from thigh to vulva. Goddamn. Minutes passed as I continued to touch, my other hand wandering up to feel the satin enveloping her breasts. A little bit of tickling and pinching lifted her to orgasm while still wearing the gorgeous lingerie. I lost myself, lost control, and removed the thong to inject my life’s desire into that yearning druggie vein, and she flew to high orbit. Just like days passed, over and over, climax after shuddering climax, with Andrea writhing, moaning, and loving my attention. There was no such thing as enough. She jumped up after going through it many times, grabbed me and tossed my shorts across the room. Holy shit, Andrea was possessed as she pulled and shoved me down, climbed on board ripping the lace bra off and revealing her screaming nipples, and dropped them to my desperate mouth. The woman rode along with the most fiery eyes possible until I felt she would push me off that sensual cliff. Her breasts bounced against my face, every now and again with her raising up and revealing her entire stretched torso and effectively erasing my ability to think. I reached for her when she leaned back to touch that tenderness and give her as much joy as possible. Her big eyes lit up more than once as she shook through another two orgasms with my other hand caressing her ass. Andrea was in heaven and I was floored by what was happening. After weeks of ravaging each other, there still remained unreleased passion that seemed to be firing on all cylinders. She dropped down to kiss me over and over until I felt the familiar sensation telling me...

'Angel... I'm... You're gonna... Andrea...'

She pulled away, spun, wrapped those red lips around me and went to town. Fingers gently tickling all over, softness and warmth driving me crazy. Again I reached for her and drove Andrea to rise to her knees and give me both a show of that beauty and room to please her more. I looked over and saw a three-quarter view of her narrow waist and followed it down to those enflamed labia. I reached, caressed, and sent her to the stars again. I watched the motion of her head moving up and down as she brought me outside myself. I just could not fucking believe the feelings and sights. Jesus holy hell in a hoofprint, I went off that cliff moments later listening to Andrea moaning and squirming in delight. She laid into me with all desire and swallowed me down as if she had been waiting her entire life for such a moment. Longer she stayed there with tongue gently massaging me until flopping down with a huge smile of satisfaction.

'Well, I thought we would last longer.' Laughter.
'I wanted that, love.
'Holy shit.'

Our last night had become bliss, wondrous feelings, and her eyes appearing larger than I had seen before. She looked so deeply emotional that all I could do was stare. And then I began to cry. Andrea held on, and despite the warm, naked beauty all over my skin, I still fell a bit before calming and quieting. Good God, what the fuck was I to do without her? Frightening. She held on and whispered everything I had become to her. No sex in those words. Just emotion. Andrea told me I had restored her drive to be happy, the push toward goals without restriction, and the new-found ability to work through even the most arduous situation. Fuck, it was beautiful. I laid there and marveled at her positive direction and words, and how such a forward push compared to when I looked at her broken spirit upon first pleading with me to take us away. Those tense moments in the Pensacola terminal scared me, but also drove my thinking into dire need and quick planning -- two frames of mind that I knew intimately. Considering our deepened connection since that unbelievable exchange in the airport was staggering. The thought still wrinkled my mind.

Andrea looked thoughtful and wide open to anything I may have uttered. Like always, her fingers explored mine and she looked up to meet my eyes. Hers were huge with emotion. Jesus did she ever look beautiful. Eventually we fell into sleep. A while later I awakened and listened to her breathing against my shoulder. I rose and turned off the light, leaving a bit of glow from the bath. I looked at her loveliness for a few moments before sliding back next to her. And the wheels began to grind out unanswerable questions... What the fuck was I going to do without the angel attached to me? How would I sleep alone? Could I sleep alone? Would I fall and throw myself at another beautiful woman for comfort? Damn. Lots of worry, lots of fear. The only positive was time. As was my fashion, the knowledge that I had control was uplifting. I began to formulate options which seemed the only way to survive the loss of Andrea. Alcohol, female companionship, alcohol. Did I mention... Alcohol? I even felt the need in the middle of the night. Somehow I knew that upon her departure I was going to make tracks for a bar. After that? Blank. Nothing.

Home?



477

My brain



Nope. That was not an option. All I could do was wait longer and consider my circumstances. I needed the quiet of the bars to work on my issues and hopefully not end up out the fucking window. Although that thought was comforting. Andrea woke up and began kissing my shoulder and neck. She asked of the time but I had turned the clock away. 'No worries', she said, and continued slobbering on my skin. She felt so nice and warm.

'God, I love you so much.'
'I love you too angel.'

She wrapped her arms and drifted off as I laid there pondering the big why. Nothing. Again... black. And despite Andrea’s gorgeous, naked body up against me, the sex flew away. Unbelievable.

Morning. Andrea was up and sitting in the cozy robe, watching me sleep. I arose, brushed my teeth, and went to her for a hug. She stood, kissed me deeply and held tight in anticipation of leaving. I could see the concern in her lovely eyes. My worry had subsided for the most part due to the realization that not everything was under my control. Just the time. I still had freedom and space to do whatever felt best. Naturally the fear of her walking away was huge, but such a moment had to happen. We simply could not go on forever. Lives were waiting.

Andrea pulled her robe open and grabbed me with tears forming. Pressed up against me, she cried for minutes before kissing me again, all sniffly and salty. Into the shower for the last time. Soapy, sweet hands, lots of big eyes and hugs. Afterward I made a point of watching her dress. Every detail from her feet to that beautiful mane needed to remain in my head. I watched intently and she smiled in return. Things packed, backpack on her slender shoulder, and my heart sinking. Out the door for coffee, hand in gripping hand.

We sat at the bar and spoke quietly of the future. Two caps, emotional eyes, and every second in physical contact. We embraced again and walked to the lobby.

'I will always love you, my dear.'
'Me too, angel. Don't forget me, ok?'
'Never. Be well, love, and thank you for us.'

A smooch, she turned and walked with purpose, disappeared, and I dropped immediately.

I dropped all the way to hell."


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Random Quote:

"Life is not lost by dying; life is lost minute by minute, day by dragging day,
in all the thousand small uncaring ways."
-- Stephen Vincent Benét


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