[07:48 pdt 07/27/2017 CE, 1501166880 E]

We are still adding small functions to the older pages for ease of navigation, just in case anyone dives into the past. Everything should match here, eventually. The front end always looks smooth and hopefully soon we can get all pages to align.

Updated images of the truck will be here within the next two weeks, and this is a good thing considering we have not forwarded the progress on that machine for some time. Things get in the way. The staff relocation and mobile platform took priority over everything, and now that life is calming we can get back to business on that mess. This is a good thing. That project has had the ability to keep us afloat through many a trial.

Also, does anyone remember the days of 'flight mode'? Well, we will be revisiting that soon. Yikes.

Hanging from the Mezzanine of Life

read ( words)

"The film is ending.

From the curtain to the rising organist, and on to the decaying seats... There is nothing left to push us forward or up. Everything is down and very recognizable. We knew this was coming. We knew it for years. Ever since the fascination of the mid nineties and the fleeting chance which occurred during the mid two thousands, we fucking knew it. We viewed it on the highway of entertainment before many others. And now we are living the film's end sequence and watching the venue fall to dust. Fantastic. Ugh.

We discussed this possibility with the Raven as well as others, and the conclusion was always the same: progress cannot be slowed nor impeded in any way. It will roll along and right over everything to serve its own need and end. Remember the train? Well, this is the same type of matter. Regardless of the consequences, things will continue to slide in the same direction until all is lost. Oh yes, every now and then something will change which (on the surface) will seem to improve whatever previous issues arose, however time will pass yet again and reveal the new issues stemming from the ridiculous bandage society has placed to cover their mess. There is just no avoiding the continued stupidity, apathy, and ignorant behavior of which we are so familiar. We cling to it like a fungus. Nice. Right?

So, what's the point? Haven't we railed on about this for years? Yes. Now, however, we are seeing things a bit differently from the prior decade. We are actually viewing the matter as we did back more than two decades ago. The idea now is separation since there is no possibility of escape. We need to maintain an actual operating life here yet somehow disconnected from the majority of the populated world. Naturally, this type of thing needs to be dealt with day to day because completely withdrawing is not feasible due to the technological requirements of our existence. So here we sit at the console, yet now able to move around a little. This is better than the past few years spent chained to the office. It is a step, albeit a small one. The nature of the electronic world of late means we have at least a few options. In the grand scheme, though, we are still enmeshed. Hmm.

The beauty decaying, and no one cares

Our many discussions with the Raven led us to the conclusion that similar souls are out there... Somewhere. This cannot be denied, no matter how negative we may become. The fact is we cannot search for them. We found one and She was an enigma of the highest order. Unreal, yet down to earth. Well, that was a one time shot and will not happen again in this life. Others? Hell no. Once upon a time we searched and nearly gave up, and the loss of Her drove us to button up the whole fucking effort. Now we only search for the look. And that is likely fruitless anyway.

All of it is related. The entire affair is wrapped up in that which the Raven provided, the fact that She is gone, the negative reality which was prominent before Her, and the failing reality surrounding us at every single moment. We will not say that She was the catalyst, but the truth is that the short time available to us with Her became a reference point against which every aspect of life is now held. We just do not know how to live with it anymore. The decaying and falling theatre, the film coming to an end, and the suffering which ensued when She left this world (worse off than with Her) are the three damaged legs holding us up. To put it clearly... The film is life, the theatre is the world, and the suffering is, well, you know -- the only feeling left. And I do not need any shit about it, either. [Notice that the FB comments and Disqus dialog went away? Heh.] We became this by living within society, had a slender chance to connect with the most uplifting type of change possible, and then subsequently fell down a steep slope and into the place we now inhabit. There it is... The long and short of it. Fucking hell, anyway. We have arrived.

The film has been ending for decades. The previous generations lived, built, enjoyed, and provided. At the same time, they were unknowingly experiencing a period of history in which things were full and bright. The years were difficult, the wars were many, and the resulting quality of life came at a high cost. But the happiness was always there to be had. Work meant life, and they were willing to do the work. That type of person now represents a narrow section of the whole. Many wish for great things and strive, while others wish and wait. Well, the nation of the past is gone and much to the disappointment of many, it cannot be duplicated. We have come in at the end of something wonderful and there can be no denying such a fact.

And here we are in the midst of the highest of technology, yet the soul is the same. The happiness is relative. Over on this side of things? We are not well and the happiness comes in very small doses. The Raven represented so much, and the lion's share of that was directed toward us with every loving intent. Fuck.

And? Gone.

The result of our apathy

So here we are again and again and again -- the only outlet available to our smoldering and tortured existence. And do not get all high and mighty -- we torture ourselves and no one can do a damned thing about it. We do not self-pity, yet we do mire in the down. We are in a hover pattern due to events and circumstances which have been displayed here for more than a decade. No shit, right? All of that has been our own set of actions, inactions, decisions, and vast mistakes involving ourselves as well as others. Lives shredded like the steel drums on those massive devices which can dispose of and compact anything. We have been the shred-o-matic of life. What? Yeah... Whatever it was. The whole thing went on without impediment or restriction. We just did it all and became the very film we tried to emulate. Yes, the fucking film. There it is again. Oh, the venue? That is falling as well.

There was a point here somewhere, but we lost it.

Fuck it. Onward with the bitching.

Those older generations seemed to have a better society within which to live, but the fact is that we did not see it. There were problems which doubtless arose for reasons similar to those which develop within the current climate, but again, we did not live them. At the time the issues were likely difficult and demanding. Now, we see the positives and all that has been left behind. Every tiny segment of every part of life is now scrutinized, analyzed, and then reported like a new form of the plague. We have dozens of musical genres, thousands of drugs being pushed all over television, and an endless supply of new foods and diets through which we must plod. Science has illuminated literally every aspect of material and chemical life. And yes, we are covering far too much territory to keep this within the typical content space.

Who fucking cares anyway?

We have tried to make a point or something. The mezzanine will eventually fail and the film will be long gone (just as film as a medium). After that, we are calculating that nothing will matter much anyway. Thus far, such has been the case with this fucking space, and any branching from there has proven pointless despite our continuing efforts. Even at this very moment of sitting within physical comfort and with the necessary alcohol, the drive is waning.


So we just hang here until the thing just collapses. We have been waiting for this quite a while, and the facts cannot and will not change. There were possibilities... Huh? Yes, we agree. Where did they go? Did we all drive them away with our selfishness? Did they just fade due to lack of importance? Does anyone really give half a blue fuck about the future? Or is the whole thing about their apathetic and chronic misuse? Whatever the reason, we are doomed to it. Destined. Driven. Dumped. Damned.

If the above is true, why all this shit? Hmm... Why indeed. Maybe we just need to lay it out here once in a while. Or, conversely, perhaps we do not know of another method. That sounds better, right?

Nope. Neither is acceptable in these latest of days. In fact, nothing can or will be acceptable ever again. As stated here in spades and throughout the years, we are in a massive downhill slide which will tilt further as time passes. There is no other way, period. Yes, it is slow, but will gain momentum as circumstances fall further. And we are feeling that the same statement is being made over and over again here. Fuck. This crap is not flowing as well as it should. Or perhaps there should not be any flow. What? Who the fuck knows. We shall just continue to slap this into the editor and see what comes out the other side. Probably nothing.

The floor is still fairly level, the weather remains relatively mild, and the mood is not terrible. Yes, it seems terrible, but we are still moving and that can't be bad (except for the readers! Ha!). We could use a measure of additional comfort but that is most unlikely.

As barren as beauty can be

We do not know what any of this means. Rambling? Probably. Lack of cohesion? Yep. Whatever. Live with it. There is no conclusion to any of it. Film has been a mental barrier for us beginning more than twenty years ago. The current theatrical climate is vastly different from the early years, and despite the entire affair collapsing both within and on the surface, we have to attempt to maintain uprightness. The other choice is la mer, and no one is going to like it. There are still things we enjoy, there are possibilities for our advancement on the horizon, and there may still be reasoning. For the time being, and regardless of the losses racking up all over our world, we will hold the line until something comes along to either restore faith or distract us to the limits. As we hang here, the clock hands ignore our feelings and dreams, the water continues to recede, the fantasy is dark, and Alexis is amazing. Unfortunately, none of that is enough."